Micro$oft...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Mon, 12 Oct 1998 14:14:09 +0100


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya People...

Let's learn a bit more about Micro$oft...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

TOP TEN MICROSOFT NON-MONOPOLISTIC SLOGANS

10)  Competition is good. 90% market share is better.

9)  We're disappointed that the US government failed to reach a
reasonable settlement with Microsoft. We thought that our press
release last year about Microsoft buying the US government took
care of these little details.

8)  We support a free marketplace. So long as our support is
visibly branded everywhere, at any price.

7)  The Road Ahead: Revised edition, "How to avoid the sink
holes."

6)  When in doubt, spend gobs of cash on ads in all the major
newspapers on a one-day rampage against government. That always
beats befriending politicians and bureaucrats.

5)  We value our customers. That's why we only charge $75 per
question on our toll-free tech support phone lines! (Hey, at
least the phone call is free)!

4)  Just because our marketing memos effectively caught us with
our pants down and our hands in the cookiee jar, doesn't mean we
can't bully our way out of this mess.

3)  We love the idea of competition. That's why we bought a huge
chunk of Apple.

2)  The US economy depends heavily on Microsoft's ability to
release Windows98 on time. Yeah, and that also proves how
insignificant and non-monopolistic we are as compared to our
software competitors.

and finally,

1)  No Netscape for you!


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