Andrea J Chee
(
ajc6@ukc.ac.uk
)
Thu, 7 Mar 1996 20:14:25 +0000 (GMT)
Hiya folks...
I forward the following, with apologies to those of you whose chemistry
is a little rusty...don't panic - you'll get the idea...:-)
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
ps. Thanks Len...
********************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>********************
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*** The world is full of Kings and Queens... ***
*** Who blind your eyes and steal your dreams... ***
*** ...It's Heaven and Hell... ***
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---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Thu, 7 Mar 1996 11:18:14 +0000 (GMT)
From: Lenard.Bell <hs0lbe@orac.sunderland.ac.uk>
To: andrea chee <ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>
Subject: administration (fwd)
I thought you might like this little scientific discovery to have a wider
airing.
All the best,
LEN
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 6 Mar 1996 15:32:45 +0000 (GMT)
From: D.TAYLOR <hs0dta@orac.sunderland.ac.uk>
To: hs0lbe@orac.sunderland.ac.uk
Subject: administration (fwd)
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, 6 Mar 1996 14:57:40 +0000 (GMT)
From: D.TAYLOR <hs0dta@orac.sunderland.ac.uk>
To: hs0sma@orac.sunderland.ac.uk
Subject: administration
NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
physicists. The element, tentatively named "Administratium", has no
protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of zero. It does,
however, have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and
111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312
particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the
continuous exchange of extremely dense sub-atomic particles known as
documentat-ions.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert, however, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes any reaction it comes into contact with.
According to the discoverers, a minute quantity of Administratium caused
one reaction which normally occurs in seconds to take over four days to
complete.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, after
which it does not actually decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in
which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons
exchange places. Early indications are that the atomic mass may actually
increase after each reorganisation.
Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs
naturally in the atmosphere and appears to accumulate at specific
locations, such as government agencies, large businesses and especially
universities.
Scientists point out that Administratium is toxic at any concentration and
can easily destroy any productive reactions where it accumulates.
Attempts are being made to discover a control mechanism for it but results
are not promising. Hopes that Administratium could be neutralised by a
highly unstable compound known as MBO, or by the extremely tortuous
'Privatisation' process have so far proved unfounded.