The Loony Bin
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loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Sat, 04 May 02 03:08:49 +0100
Hiya Folks... Here are some more ideas for work excuses, this time involving doctors' notes... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* Archive: http://www.theloonies.co.uk/ ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- Work Excuses ------------ We get hurt, we visit the doctor, they give us an excuse to give to work. Well, most of the time it's true, but there are times that we need one because we really didn't get hurt... 1. To whom it may concern. ______________ broke his femur bone in half skateboarding in an empty swimming pool in a skateboard park over the week-end and is in the hospital for a month and might not be able to work for 6 months. 2. Your employee ______________ was riding his son's BMX bike and broke his left ankle in two place and will be out of work for 4 months. 3. _______________ broke his hand when he slugged the wall because of a fight with his brother. He should be out of work for about 6 weeks. 4. _______________ will not be able to work for 6 months because she was riding on the back of a tandem bike and her husband swerved a little to miss some water and ended up falling down and breaking her pelvic bone. 5. This is a true, too... I went to a friend's house and was playing with her puppy on the floor of her living room. When I stood up, there was a fish hook embedded in my knee (her boyfriend had dropped it or something.) Well, I went to the ER to get a tetanus shot, not expecting any problems, got home, got sick as a dog and missed work for three days!!! I haven't had a tetanus shot since... And I was wondering why they asked me if I needed a note for work, glad I had it just in case. 6. My sister-in-law stayed with us a short time and hated to help load the wood stove. So she claimed she went to the doctor and he diagnosed her with poplaritis, she said it was from touching the poplar wood. Funny thing is we never burn poplar. This excuse could be used for many things, Teacheritis, custodialitis, bartenteritis and so on. 7. When I Have a Doctors appointment, and I do not feel like going I say when I call the doctor to cancel: I am too sick to come in to see you. 8. Here's one I've used with success. I live in San Diego and there are a lot of Mexican restaurants here. When I don't want to go to the doctor, etc, I call them and say that I had eaten some Mexican food the night before and that I must have gotten some bad (toxic) guacamole! Then I proceed to tell them how I was up all night vomiting and having diarrhea! Of course, I have to be careful not to use this one too often! ;-) 9. Please excuse _________ for being absent yesterday she went to her mother's doctor appointment with her. Please include this information if you forward this joke: ******************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://www.theloonies.co.uk/ ******************************************************* To UNSUBSCRIBE or SUBSCRIBE email: loonies@bloodaxe.com Subject: 'unsubscribe' or 'subscribe'