The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
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Wed, 18 Oct 2000 23:32:56 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya People...
Here's another list for you to look at:
....check this out....... Email: subAEC@funnybone.com
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Here's a job vacancy which some of you may be interested in...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
*** ***
*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Position Available Immediately:
Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group
An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group
for an Apprentice Sith Lord.
The ideal candidate for this position would enjoy galactic travel and
possess a complete understanding of and competence in the Force or
demonstrate a willingness to learn.
Duties include:
Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on intervention in support of
the Sith Master's planning initiatives, ability to travel the galaxy
widely, and operating a variety of laser-powered hand weapons and high-
powered space/air vehicles. Some slaying of the enemies of the Dark Side
is also required, which may be performed by using the Force or hand
weapons.
Qualified applicants would possess good communications skills
(especially when speaking in menacing whispers), and would be action-
oriented individuals and risk takers. A background in the study of the
Force (light or dark) is desirable, as would typically be acquired by
those with advanced degrees or significant coursework in Jedi Arts from
the University of Coruscant.
Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection
equipment, possess a valid galactic pilot's license for all classes of
ships, and must show a willingness to give in to their hate. A proven
track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks to control others is
also desirable as is the ability to speak several galactic languages.
Ideal candidates for this position would also have no children or other
living relatives who are strong in the ways of the Force. (A new hire
would be give several weeks to meet this requirement.) Compensation for
this position is commensurate with experience, and is extremely
competitive for the field. Benefits include a generous severance
package, a company starship, and a dark-colored clothing allowance.
The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with the Sith
Master and experience in such small, team-based organizations is vital
to the success of the Master's plans. Discretion is also highly valued,
as is the ability to see the future before it happens.
Applications will be accepted through the end of August. Transmit them
holographically to Jobs@darkside.com.
(Dark Side CG (tm) is a small and highly-focused organization founded a
long time ago. Our core values reflect the short-term advantages of
harnessing hatred for institutional power and the long-term desirability
of controlling the galaxy. We provide direction to our partner
organizations though knowledge management, incident control and our
rapid on-site intervention expertise.)
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