The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Tue, 25 Jul 2000 00:49:13 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya People...
Here's another list for you to look at:
WHAT'S THIS NONSENSE? Those loveable scamps, Linky & Dinky, find the
DARNdest Web Links, and compile them for us in a highly disorganized,
scattershot manner... from the brainy, to the bizarre, to the obtuse,
Linky & Dinky rule! Always a FUN stop. Don't miss the Magic Trick,
it's a DOOZY! http://www.linkydinky.com
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Here's one for the rugby fans on the list...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Seeing how the All Blacks were motivated by performing the 'Haka' before
their world cup games, the other nations were asked to suggest pre-match
rituals of their own.
The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air
and attach bells to their ankles for a while before moaning about how
they invented the game, and gave it to the world, and how it's not fair
that everyone can beat them now.
The Scotland team will chant "You lookin' at me Jimmy?" before smashing
an Irn Bru bottle over their opponents heads.
The Ireland team will spilt into two, with the Southern half performing
a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the traditional route from
their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.
Unfortunately the Welsh suggestion has been vetoed by the RSPCA.
Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory
claim it as their own "Las-In-Goals-Areas" and then be forcibly removed
by the Stewards.
Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important
than the other thirteen whom they will corral between the posts whilst
they claim the rest of the pitch for themselves.
The Americans will not be there until half time. In future years they
will alter the records to show that they were in fact the most important
team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a film called "Saving No8
Lyle".
Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marsaillaise and hold the rest of
the side to ransom.
The Italian team will arrive in red penis substituting cars, sexually
harass the female stewards and then run away.
The Spanish will sneak into the other half of the pitch mow it and then
claim that it was all in line with the European "grass quotas". They
will then curl up under the posts and have a kip until half time.
The Japanese will attempt to strengthen their team by offering good
salaries to the key opposition players (over 35) and then run around the
pitch at high speed in a highly efficient manner before buying the
ground (with a subsidy from the UK Government).
The French will declare they have new scientific evidence that the
opposition are in fact all mad. They will then park lorries across the
halfway line, let sheep loose in the opposition half and burn the
officials.
The Australians will have a barbie before negotiating lucrative singing
and TV contracts in the UK. They will then invite their mates to come
and live with them in Shepherds Bush before beating up all the women on
the touchline.
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