The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Fri, 28 Apr 2000 13:33:08 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya All...
Here are some important things to remember about marriage...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
On Marriage: One-Liners
-----------------------
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
- Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- George Burns
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
About 30 pounds.
- Cindy Garner
I bought my wife a new car.
She called and said, "There was water in the carburettor."
I said, "Where's the car?"
She said, "In the lake."
- Henny Youngman
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a
quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no
secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband
for not being Paul Newman.
- Erma Bombeck
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other replied "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt
her.
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two
girlfriends.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it
because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
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