The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 1 Jan 1997 20:16:05 +0000
Hiya Folks... Here are some things not to say on a date... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*** ***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***<bloodaxe@bigfoot.com>*** *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ *** *** *** *******************Internet Goddess******************** **********************ANDROMEDA************************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- DATING DONT'S - VOL II * Your sister's a real knock-out. Is one of you adopted? * For the longest time I lived with a hairdresser named Brice, but then I had this sudden relapse of heterosexuality. * When we get back to my apartment, whatever you do, don't tease the pony. * You know, if my wife wasn't so hung up on this faithfulness thing, she'd probably say you were my cutest girlfriend yet. * You can trust me, I'm a lawyer. * I had to break up with my last girlfriend. She welded a coat- hanger to the metal plate in her head and was using it as an antenna to read my thoughts. * No, really, I read Playboy for the articles. * My most painful memory? Hmmm... That would have to be when those three guys cornered me in the showers in prison. * Who can blame Woody Allen? * I've been studying this new age stuff with a guy who channels Ed Sullivan. Last week I channeled Topo Gigio and told him where he could stick it. * After our last date, when I got home I had this aching in the pit of my stomach. I thought it was because I missed you, but it turned out to be food poisoning. * I'm not free Sunday. I'm going to help OJ look for the real killer. * If I was a woman, I'd have Rush Limbaugh's baby. * I guess in retrospect that "Clay Messiah: Parallels Between Jesus and Gumby" wasn't the best title for a doctoral thesis. * How about after dinner we take a romantic stroll by the oil refinery? The fumes give you a really cool buzz. * Now I'm just speaking hypothetically here, but let's say you were at some guy's house, opened the refrigerator, and saw a human head. Would you call the cops? * I was thinking tonight we'd go to a French restaurant. Have you ever been to Jacques En Ze Box? * I always wanted to be a doctor, but I couldn't get into med school, so now I just pursue gynecology as a hobby. I even have my own stirrups. November 21, 1996 ISSUE Copyright 1996 - Greg Bulmash - All Rights Reserved