The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Sun, 24 Nov 1996 18:01:13 +0000
Hiya Folks... Here's why Star Wars is better than sex... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************* *****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*****<bloodaxe@geocities.com>***** *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ *** *** *** *******************Internet Goddess******************** **********************ANDROMEDA************************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- REASONS WHY STAR WARS IS BETTER THAN SEX: 1. In real life, sometimes people are not in the mood; In Star Wars, anyone can get a long light saber up in the blink of an eye. 2. In real life, sex with animals and creatures will send you to jail; In Star Wars, you can do a Wookiee one night, a Princess the next, and have intercourse with creatures named "Hammerhead", "Greedo", and if you're alone, "Han(d) Solo". 3. In real life, sex is often a long, boring and slow process; In Star Wars, you can do it at the speed of light. 4. In real life, sex can be the same old thing with normal people; In Star Wars, sex with Darth Vader involves masks, a black cape, oxygen tanks, machinery, and a vengeant attitude. 5. In real life, sometimes there's not enough genital pressure; In Star Wars, one can produce mind-bending passionate orgasms by using, "The Force." 6. In real life, sex sometimes occurs in the cramped backseat of a car; In Star Wars, you can screw in style aboard any number of spacious interplanetary vehicles. 7. In real life, people sometimes get pregnant, or sick from sexual acts; In Star Wars, well.... it's just a movie. 8. In real life, sex often only occurs for a few hours at best; In Star Wars, no one keeps time or wears watches. 9. In real life, some people are just plain ugly, finding sex hard to find; In Star Wars, ANYONE looks attractive standing next to Jabba the Hutt. 10. In real life, breaking up with an old partner is difficult at best; In Star Wars, you either dump them in an the middle of an asteroid field, or just avoid that part of the galaxy.