Men and Women...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Sun, 11 Aug 1996 12:02:28 +0100


Hiya All...

Here are some more differences between men and women...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
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*********************ANDROMEDA***********************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


The following comments are those of Bill Hall who is a syndicated humour
columnist for the Lewiston Morning Tribune in Lewiston, Idaho.


                     Who Says Women Aren't Different?

   I don't care what anybody says, in my age group there are still
several major differences between men and women beyond the obvious
ones.

   I'll leave others to fret over whether those differences are natural
or primarily a consequence of conditioning, but differences do exist.
They do not necessarily indicate male supremacy but they do tend to
tilt one in that direction.

   Consider bathing, for instance.  As a general rule, middle-aged
women take baths at night.  The men shower each morning.  The men like
to go to bed dirty and go to work clean.  Women prefer to go to bed
clean and to work dirty.  That's why men usually take their coffee
breaks with other men.

   Women read more boring magazines than men.  They read silly,
pedestrian magazines filled with articles on making quilts, turning
bleach bottles into stunning centerpieces, the use of orange eyeshadow
and how to get men to shower before going to bed instead of before
going to work.

   Men read sensible, intellectual journals on how to catch fish and
kill little animals.

   When a man cooks, he keeps his knives sharp.  Most female cooks
don't.  Indeed, most female cooks don't even own a decent kitchen knife,
let alone a sharp one.

   Female cooks offer the excuse that they would cut themselves if they
had a sharp knife.  And anyone with knives that lousy probably would.

   There is another difference between male and female cooks.  Female
cooks generally cook better with dull knives than male cooks do with
sharp knives.  That's how infuriating female cooks can be.

   Most women in my age group wear dresses occasionally.  Only a few of
my male friends do and then only in the privacy of their own homes.

   The women hobble around on high-heeled shoes.  Most men would never
do anything that silly.  In fact, there is a name for the kind of men
who wear high heels.  They are called cowboys.

   Women laugh at men for wearing neckties and coats on 100-degree
summer days.  They snicker at men for wearing more clothes than
necessary in hot weather.  However, the women who do that are sweating
in their pantyhose.

   Most women in my age group wear make-up.  Very few of the men do.
There is a name for men who wear make-up.  They are called weird
cowboys.

   Women are far more likely to be lousy tippers in restaurants--and to
complain thereafter that men always get better service than they do.

   Women fold their underwear.  Most men merely stuff their underwear
into the drawer.  Men use the time they save to catch fish and kill
little animals.

   Most women, when lost, will stop and ask directions.  Most men in my
age group believe admitting you're lost will cast doubt on your
manhood.  That's why so many macho men are lost.  Smarter men prove
their manhood by stopping and asking women for directions, even when
they aren't lost.

   There is another big difference between men and women in my age
group.  A competent man tends to rise through the ranks so easily that
he eventually reaches a level where he is incompetent.  Dr. Laurence J.
Peter has dubbed this process the Peter Principle.

   Women in my age group tend to be held below the level of their
competence, making them embarrassing to work with because they tend to
outshine male colleagues at the same level.

   This is known as the Pain-in-the-Neck Principle.  Incompetent men
who have been subjected to that humiliation retaliate by refusing to
promote women.  And rightly so.  You don't want people in the board
room who don't shower each morning.