Technical Support...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Sun, 12 May 1996 10:54:22 +0100


Hiya People...

Here is a tale from the other side of the helpdesk...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx
-- 
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
***                                               ***
***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
***          loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk         ***
***                                               ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************

  ------- Forwarded message follows -------

Subject: True support story

Some users require a bit of hand holding. Others deserve to have them
cut off and stuffed up their... well.....

Once upon a time I was doing a support call -

"... Ok, now type cd space..." 

sounds heard from the user: "click click, clickclickclickclickclick" 

"... um, excuse me sir, what did you just type?"

"cd space."

"... nononononono, space BAR, space BAR!"

"ahhh. clickclickclick."

"... nononononNONO!, the space bar! that big horizontal thing at the bottom
 middle of the keyboard! Hit delete."

"ahh. Why? How will delete help?"

"It'll abort what you just typed. Just hit it."

"Click. OK."

"... Great, now type ... cd ... SPACEBAR..."

Lots of clicking noises, I decided to ignore for the nonce....

"... slash"   

"Slash?"

"... yes, it's the key below the question mark."

"Ah.... "

"... and hit return."

:silence: "click click click click click click"

"Noooo! Noooo! the return key! the return *key*!"

"I don't have a return key."

"Alright, ENTER, then."

"Enter what?"

:under my breath: "the gates of hell." "The ENTER key, hit it please."

"Ah. Hokay, it says file not found."

"What?!!! - listen, what do you do there at XYZ Inc?"

"I am system administrator for whole network."

"Do you have a secretary or someone there I could talk to?
You see, we've got another couple hundred letters to type and I don't
have that kind of credit with Ma bell..."

I sent him a copy of typing tutor that day. FedEx. I then called in
sick for the rest of the week, hoping to avoid further blood pressure
problems.

Friday he called in, asks for me specifically. Seems he needed help
on getting typing tutor installed!!!!