The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Thu, 21 Mar 1996 12:07:42 +0000
Hiya all you people...
Here we go again...the latest from Joke of the Day...:-)
Greetings to our newest readers - the Alchemists at Sunderland and all
the other people who have been joining us...welcome to the real
world...:-)
Wishes & Dreams...
- A
xx
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************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** ***
*****************************************************
**********************ANDROMEDA**********************
------- Forwarded message follows -------
I have a task for all of you... Today, being the first day of spring, the
earth is equally balanced... Find an egg and balance it on end... today is
one of the only days during the year you can do that successfully. I have
a dozen balanced right here... The perfect dozen.
Question: Which is more useful, the moon or the sun?
Answer: The moon, because the moon shines at night when
you want the light, whereas the sun shines
during the day when you don't need it.
MURPHY'S LAWS
THE PRIME AXIOM: In any field of scientific endeavor, anything that
can go wrong, will.
2. If the possibility exists of several things going wrong, the one that
will go wrong is the one that will do the most damage.
3. Everything will go wrong at one time.
3.1 That time is always when you least expect it.
4. If nothing can go wrong, something will.
5. Nothing is as easy as it looks.
6. Everything takes longer than you think.
7. Left to themselves, things always go from bad to worse.
8. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
9. Given the most inappropriate time for something to go wrong, that's
when it will occur.
10. Mother Nature is a bitch.
10.1 The universe is not indifferent to intelligence, it is actively
hostile to it.
11. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
12. If in any problem you find yourself doing an immense amount of work,
the answer can be obtained by simple inspection.
13. Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to
make it complex and wonderful.
14. If it doesn't fit, use a bigger hammer.
15. In an instrument or device characterized by a number of plus-or-minus
errors, the total error will be the sum of all the errors adding in
the same direction.
16. In any given calculation, the fault will never be placed if more than
one person is involved.
16.1 In any given discovery, the credit will never be properly placed
if more than one person is involved.
17. All warranty and guarantee clauses become invalid upon payment of the
final invoice.
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TLX 4.10 The fecal material has hit the air circulating device.