The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Sat, 19 May 2001 02:17:41 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya All...
We all know that the role of the armed forces has changed over the
years...here are some examples of just how great the change is...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
HOW THE MILITARY HAS CHANGED OVER THE YEARS...
1945 - NCO's had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.
1999 - Everyone has an internet access computer, and they wonder why no
work is getting done.
1945 - we painted pictures of girls on airplanes to remind us of home.
1999 - they put the real thing in the cockpit.
1945 - your girlfriend was at home praying you would return alive.
1999 - she is in the same trench praying your condom worked.
1945 - if you got drunk off duty your buddies would take you back to the
barracks to sleep it off.
1999 - if you get drunk they slap you in rehab and ruin your career.
1945 - you were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him.
1999 - you spray 500 bullets into the brush, don't hit anything, and
retreat because you're out of ammo.
1945 - canteens were made of steel, and you could heat coffee or hot
chocolate in them.
1999 - canteens are made of plastic, you can't heat anything in them,
and they always taste like plastic.
1945 - officers were professional soldiers first and they commanded
respect.
1999 - officers are politicians first and beg not to be given a wedgie.
1945 - they collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
1999 - they collect your pee and analyze it.
1945 - if you didn't act right, the Sergeant Major put you in the brig
until you straightened up.
1999 - if you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you
forever.
1945 - medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of
their own.
1999 - medals are awarded to people who work at headquarters.
1945 - you slept in barracks like a soldier.
1999 - you sleep in a dormitory like a college kid.
1945 - you ate in a mess hall, which was free, and you could have all
the food you wanted.
1999 - you eat in a dining facility, every slice of bread or pad of
butter costs, and you better not take too much.
1945 - we defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan.
1999 - we come up short against Iraq and Yugoslavia.
1945 - if you wanted to relax, you went to the rec center, played pool,
smoked and drank beer.
1999 - you go to the community center, and you can play pool.
1945 - if you wanted beer and conversation you went to the NCO or
Officers' Club.
1999 - the beer will cost you $2.75, membership is forced, and someone
is watching how much you drink.
1945 - the Exchange had bargains for soldiers who didn't make much
money.
1999 - you can get better and cheaper merchandise at Walmart.
1945 - we could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets.
1999 - we are wearing the Nazi helmets.
1945 - we called the enemy names like "Krauts" and "Japs" because we
didn't like them.
1999 - we call the enemy the "opposing force" or "aggressor" because we
don't want to offend them.
1945 - victory was declared when the enemy was defeated and all his
things were broken.
1999 - victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry.
1945 - a commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
1999 - a commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.
1945 - wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important
victories.
1999 - wars are planned by politicians with lots of equivocating.
1945 - we were fighting for freedom, and the country was committed to
winning.
1999 - we don't know what we're fighting for, and the government is
committed to social programs (used to be called 'socialism').
1945 - all you could think about was getting out and becoming a civilian
again.
1999 - all you can think about is getting out and becoming a civilian
again.
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