The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Tue, 30 Jan 2001 22:13:47 +0000
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ Hiya People... Here's another list for you to look at: Why not try a NEW clean humor list? Sign up for Kim's Chuckle-A-Day and receive CLEAN JOKES, TRIVIA, and a QUOTE once or twice per week. Subscribe by sending a blank email to: kimschuckleaday-subscribe@topica.com Visit the archives at http://www.chuckleaday.com! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Those shop signs are at it again... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- Plumber: "We repair what your husband Fixed." On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip call your plumber." Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one Weak." At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." Door of a plastic surgeons office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?" Sign at the psychic's Hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you." At A Laundry Shop: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?" At a Towing Company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs." On an Electricians truck: "Let us remove your shorts." In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push." At an Optometrists Office "If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place." On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." On a Butchers window: "Let me meat your needs." On a fence: "Salesman Welcome, Dog food is expensive." At a car Dealership : "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment Necessary, we hear you coming." Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people." On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left." In a Veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!" At the Electric Company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be." On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte." In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up." Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop." In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait." In a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional." Please include this information if you forward this joke: ********************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ********************************************************* Get PAID for the emails you already send and receive! http://www.mailround.com/ Referrer: andrea@bloodaxe.com ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com