Doggy Resolutions...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Fri, 5 Jan 2001 00:49:39 +0000


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya People...

Here are some New Year's Resolutions for dogs...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


 1.  I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the 
        toilet.
 2.  The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
 3.  I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under 
        the coffee table.
 4.  I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
 5.  I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
 6.  I will not eat the cats' food, before, or after, they eat it.
 7.  I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of carpet in 
        the house when I am about to throw up.
 8.  I will not throw up in the car.
 9.  I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
10.  The litter box is not a cookie jar.
11.  I will not wake up Mommy by putting my cold, wet nose up her bottom
        end.
12 . I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
13.  I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my
        people will think that I am hemorrhaging.
14.  When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down
        when it's raining outside.
15.  I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who 
        is sitting on the toilet.
16.  We do not have a doorbell.  Therefore, I will not bark each time I 
        hear one on the television.
17.  I will not steal my Mom's/Dad's underwear and dance all over the 
        back yard with them.
18.  The sofa is not a face towel.  Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
19.  My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
20.  I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for 
        Mom's/Dad's driver's license and car registration.


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