The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Sat, 16 Sep 2000 04:03:09 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya People...
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3 Daily Funnies - Quick and Easy to Read - WebTV friendly,
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Preview now at: http://www.humorhwy.com/cyber_trash.html
This ones the best. Preview first and you'll laugh as you join.
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Here are some more things to make you Brits feel old, some we've seen
before and others are new...sent in by Pete...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
*** ***
*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
*** ***
************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
JUST IN CASE YOU WERE FEELING YOUNG TODAY...
The people who are starting University this autumn across the nation
were born in 1982/3.
They have no meaningful recollection of the Thatcher era.
They were prepubescent when the Gulf War started.
Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.
Their world has always included AIDS.
Atari's and Space Invaders predate them, as do vinyl albums and audio
tapes.
The Compact Disc was released before they were one.
EVEN WORSE...
>From their earliest years, a camera was something you used once and
threw away.
A "Snickers" has always been a "Snickers"
As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 26 pence.
Few, if any, have lived without an answering machine.
Few have used a TV set without a remote control and they don't know they
come in black and white.
They were born the year that Sony brought out the Walkman.
The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.
YOU'RE PROBABLY AGED 23-33 IF...
You wore a Kagoul
You remember Le Freak by Chic and Bad Manners' Can-Can.
At school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to get
together again at the end of the century and play "1999" by Prince over
and over again.
You dressed to emulate a person you saw in a Duran Duran, AHA, Madonna
or Bruce Springsteen video.
There was nothing strange about Eric n' Ernie living together.
You even wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the guitar and
choreographed "Dancing Queen" by yourself in your room.
The first time you ever kissed someone was at a dance during "Crazy for
You" by Madonna.
You knew who shot J.R. (but have probably forgotten!).
You remember which policeman you liked best in "Chips".
Mark from Eastenders will always be Tucker from Grange Hill/Tucker's
Luck.
You remember when Terry Wogan was on TV everyday.
You could sing "99 Red Balloons" in English and in German.
Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those "brick-sized"
packages of Bazooka gum.
You reckon Wagon Wheels and Mars Bars used to be bigger.
You remember a 'Man's got to chew, what a Man's got to chew'.
You remember when there was no breakfast TV and when TV shut down at
midnight, and when there was nothing on TV in the middle of the day
except for that test card girl with the stupid clown and a blackboard.
You remember Farleys rusks tasting nice, but when you had one about 5
years ago they were bloody awful!!
One word.....SPANGLES!!!
YOU WERE A TRUE CHILD OF THE 80S IF...
You remember Now compilations that had the pig on the front cover.
You never questioned why the A-Team was always imprisoned in places that
had sufficient tools to build an armoured tank.
Dungeons & Dragons was your favourite cartoon
Your lunch times were spent perfecting swan dives and backspins.
You've ever said "bright light, bright light" in a strange high-pitched
voice.
You know the theme tune and the names of all the actors and characters
in Dallas & Dynasty.
You ever wished your hair/clothes/lifestyle resembled the above (or they
actually did!).
You fell out with friends during heated arguments about the relative
merits of Matt & Luke.
You owned, or wanted a "Frankie says..." T-shirt.
You have ever danced (or even worse cried) to Kylie & Jason.
Cerise pink, electric blue and banana yellow have ever featured in your
wardrobe or make-up collection.
You ever did the top toggle of your coat up around your neck without
having your arms in the sleeves, and knew you looked like a super-hero.
You remember when the AHA video was the pinnacle of modern technology,
and you can still sing all the words.
Parachuting Action Man was your favourite toy.
(Girls) Your best party dress was either a ra-ra or puff-ball skirt.
(Boys) You ever owned a thin, black leather tie (and were proud of it),
or worse it was patterned like a piano!
You wondered why a popular kids TV programme told you to "Turn off your
TV set and go and do something less boring instead".
You wanted to be either Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys.
You have ever po-goed or space-hopped.
You remember when Keith Chegwin & Maggie Philbin were the hottest
romantic couple...And when Keith was associated with Cheggers Plays Pop
rather than Cheggers drinks alcopops.
You wondered why your walkie-talkie didn't have the same range as those
in the Red Hand Gang.
You were shocked by the controversial plot lines in Degrassi Junior
High.
You remember watching a house inhabited by a jester, a pantomime horse,
and a woman who sneezed, and thinking that this was perfectly normal.
You know who Joey Deacon was.
You thought ABBA were cool, the first time round!
You tried to convince your Dad to fit a strip of red lights on the front
of his Capri so it looked like KITT.
"Ca-vey Wa-vey!" means anything to you.
Remington makes you think of something other than shaving equipment.
You wouldn't say no to a milkshake
You've ever had more than 10 sweets in a 10p mix-up.
Not only did you wear luminous clothing, but they were mismatched
finger-less gloves and towelling socks.
When Yoda said 'There is another Skywalker' you wished he was talking
about you.
Wearing your hair like buns on the sides of your head seemed like a good
fashion statement.
You remember when Betamax was at the cutting edge of technology
You hid behind the sofa whenever you heard the word Exterminate.
Vimto or Dandelion & Burdoch ever featured in your diet.
You were really pleased when Pacman got a girlfriend.
You grew up believing that filing cabinets and telephone boxes possessed
magical powers of transformation.
After ET, you wanted a Speak & Spell even though you were top of your
class
You remember when PC had one meaning, rather than three.
(Girls) You owned a pair of Pixie Boots, generally worn with leg
warmers!
(Boys) You owned a pair of pale grey slip-ons, generally worn with white
toweling socks!
Shiny grey flecked suits.
You grew up in Trumpton, Chigley or Camblewick Green.
You've rolled the sleeves of your suit jacket up
Ooh, you could crush a Grape!
You've ever held a chicken in the air, or stuck a deckchair up your
nose.
You went to school with Pogo Patterson, Gripper Stebson, and Ro-land.
Long scarves, K9, and a time-travelling police box ring any bells.
Giant Haystacks and Big Daddy have ever featured on your Saturday
afternoon
You wore legwarmers, tried to do the splits while jumping in the air,
while singing you were going to live forever.
Fingermouse
You were proud of your picture appearing in the Gallery, just before
watching a lump of plasticine who couldn't speak English.
You fantasised about those girls from that Robert Palmer video.
You know all the words to Hey Mickey (well nobody knows past the first
verse anyway).
You remember Look In magazine, and when it was only 20p
You can remember what Quatro tasted like.
Your best mate had a soda stream at home and you were jealous.
You remember mobile phones that had briefcase size battery packs
attached.
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