Dating...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Wed, 12 Jul 2000 16:36:10 +0100


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya Loonies...

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's how to interpret your date's every move...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
***                                                 ***
***      Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/      ***
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


                            READING THE SIGNS:

                   How To Make Shallow Snap Judgements
                        Taken From Women's Glibber

The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden
signs, those give-away gestures that can tell you so much about a
person. Train yourself to recognise - and decode - these 'KEY SIGNS'.

1. Woman won't unlock car door for man - Doesn't engage in oral sex

2. Man gets in car without opening door for woman - No foreplay

3. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant - Prefers virgins

4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way -
   Is a virgin

5. Can't hail a cab - Impotent

6. Insists on going to a homely little cafe with windmill motif - 
   Compulsive Don Quixote

7. Insists on going to a romantic candle-lit restaurant - Compulsive Don
   Juan

8. Insists on going to a Polynesian bar - Compulsive Don Ho

9. Wants to go to a French restaurant - Will swallow

10. Wants to go to a deli - Won't swallow

11. Takes too long deciding what to order - Has trouble reaching orgasm

12. Orders salad dressing on the side - Will give you a hand job, but
    will not go "all the way"

13. Gives explicit orders to waiter - Will expect incredibly skilful
    gymnastics in bed

14. Asks for extra rolls - Will say she is using birth control when
    she's not, will get pregnant and sue

15. Insists on ordering for you, referring to you as "The lady will
    have..." - Thinks you had an orgasm when you didn't

16. Asks for "The Usual" - Insists on missionary position only

17. Asks what the specials are - Will want you to use handcuffs

18. Fills up on bread and crackers - Premature ejaculation


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