Loan Application...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Thu, 15 Jun 2000 21:06:54 +0100


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Here's a lawyer working hard to get a loan...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the
loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel
of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated
back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After
sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (an
actual letter):

Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we
note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we
compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the
application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the
proposed collateral proper back to 1803. Before final approval can be
accorded it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

Your letter regarding the title in Case No 189156 has been received. I
note that you wish to have title extended back further than the 194
years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any
educated person in this country, particularly those working in the
property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the US
from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. 

For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land
prior to US ownership was obtained from France which had acquired it by
Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain by
Right of Discovery made in 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher
Columbus who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to
India by the then-reigning monarch Isabella. The good queen being a
pious woman and careful about titles almost as much as the FHA took the
precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her
jewels to fund Columbus' expedition.

Now the Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the
Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.
Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that He also made that part
of the world called Louisiana. He therefore would be the owner of
origin. 

I hope to hell you find His original claim to be satisfactory. 

Now may we have our damn loan?

...They got it.


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