The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Thu, 25 May 2000 13:11:07 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
Hiya All...
Here's another list for you to look at:
STRUNG LIKE A TIGHT WIRE AND SPINNING LIKE A TOP?
Soft Shoulder Advice understands the stresses of today's
world. A professional therapist and educator, Michelle Drew
dispenses sensible advice and humor in her thrice weekly
e-zine. Subscribe by sending a blank e-mail to:
softshoulderadvice-subscribe@onelist.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are some fun things to do while you're driving...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
*** ***
*** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ***
*** ***
************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
35 Fun Things to do When Driving
1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged.
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang.
3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling.
4. Two words: Chicken suit.
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more
it looks like blood, the better.
6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rear view mirror as
toll collector tries to explain to next driver.
7. Laugh. Laugh a lot. A whooooole lot.
8. Stop at the green lights.
9. Go at the red ones.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window
or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Put your arms down the legs of an extra pair of trousers, put
sneakers on your hands, and lean the seat back as you drive.
13. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a
look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.
14. Honk frequently without motivation.
15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an offended and angry
look as if they gave you an obscene gesture.
16. At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon.
17. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
19. Restart your car at every stop light.
20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them,
stroking them lovingly.
21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts
out the window.
22. Keep at least five cats in the car.
23. Squeegee your windshield at every stop.
24. If a firetruck comes up behind you, pull over, get on the roof of
your car, and do a cheer for them as they pass!
25. Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse.
26. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when
driving alone.
27. Stop and collect roadkill.
28. Stop and pray for roadkill.
29. Stop and cook roadkill. (If in Tennessee.)
30. Throw Spam. Tape signs on windows protesting email abuse.
31. Get in the fast lane and gradually... slow... down... to... a stop.
Then get out and watch the cars.
32. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
33. Drive off an exit ramp, ask for directions to the town you're in.
When they tell you you're there, look confused, glance at your map,
laugh, and exclaim, "Oh! Wrong state!"
34. Sing without having the radio on.
35. At stop lights, run out of your car, place pylons around you, then
gather them back up as the light changes and drive off...
Please include this information if you forward this joke:
*********************************************************
This joke and others like it, can be found in:
The Loony Bin
http://loonies.net800.co.uk/
*********************************************************
Get PAID to surf the Web!
http://alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=BFN610
______________________________________________________________________
To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com