The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Fri, 5 May 2000 02:07:47 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ Hiya All... Sometimes the things people say don't come out quite the way they were intended... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- "The band never actually split up - we just stopped speaking to each other and went our own separate ways." Boy George, Radio 2 "Damien Hirst tends to use everyday objects such as a shark in formaldehyde." Fashion Commentator, Radio 4 "Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street." Radio 1 Newsbeat "Do you believe David Trimble will stick to his guns on decommissioning?" Interviewer, UTV "It was the fastest-ever swim over that distance on American soil." Greg Phillips, Portsmouth News "...fears that the balloon may be forced to ditch in the Pacific. Mr Branson, however, remains buoyant and hopes to reach America..." Radio 4 News "Well, you could count them on the fingers of less than one hand..." Jack Elder, New Zealand Police Minister "And Nakano tries to avoid being passed by his teammate Trulli, which should in fact be quite easy, because Trulli is going more slowly than his teammate Nakano" Murray Walker, ITV "A fascinating duel between 3 men..." David Coleman, Hammer Throw, World Athletics, BBC "I'm glad two sides of the cherry have been put forward" Geoff Boycott, Radio 5 Live "It has been the German Army's largest peacetime operation since World War 2" ITN "There are the boys, their balls between their legs" Amanda Redington, GMTV "Israeli troops have this morning entered the Arab township of Hebron, in search of the perpetrators of the recent suicide bomb attacks in Jerusalem, whom they believe are in hiding there" CNN News "Do Britain's drug laws need a shot in the arm?" Radio 4 "Ian Mackie is here to prove his back injury is behind him" Commentator at Spar Athletics "Azinger is wearing an all black outfit: black jumper, blue trousers, white shoes and a pink 'tea-cosy' hat" Renton Laidlaw "The advantage of the rain is, that if you have a quick bike, there's no advantage" Barry Sheene "Her legs are kept tightly together: she's giving nothing away" Gymnastics commentator, BBC1 "Moreano thought that the full back was gonna come up behind and give him one really hard" Ron Atkinson "Adams is stretching himself, looking for Seaman" Brian Moore "I wouldn't be surprised if this game went all the way to the finish" Ian St John "Apart from their goals, Norway haven't scored" Terry Venables "The Croatians don't play well without the ball" Barry Venison "Batistuta is very good at pulling off defenders" Kevin Keegan "Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose" Kevin Keegan "I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's completely different" Kevin Keegan "Zidane is not very happy, because he's suffering from the wind" Ron Atkinson "He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it: you can see it all over their faces" Ron Atkinson "They've picked their heads up off the ground and they now have alot to carry on their shoulders" Ron Atkinson "Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw" Ron Atkinson "The swimmers are swimming out of their socks." Sharron Davies, BBC "In cycling, you can put all your money on one horse." StephenRoche, Eurosport "I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock." Barry Venison, ITV "In life he was a living legend; in death, nothing has changed." L!veTV "Without being too harsh on David, he cost us the match." Ian Wright, ITV "If you'd offered me a 69 at the start this morning I'd have been all over you." Sam Torrance, BBC2 "It's amazing how, in this part of the world, history has been part of its past." David Duffy, Eurosport "And that was played by the Lindsay String Quartet...or at least two thirds of them." Sean Rafferty, Radio 3 "Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball" Ian St John "They (Leeds) used to be a bit like Arsenal, winning by one goal to nil or even less." Nasser Hussain, Channel 5 "So, this movie you star in, The Life Story of George Best, tell us what it's about." George Gavin, Sky Sports Please include this information if you forward this joke: ********************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ********************************************************* Get PAID to surf the Web! http://alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=BFN610 ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com