The Loony Bin
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loonies@bloodaxe.com
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Thu, 8 Apr 1999 03:55:35 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ Hiya Loonies... Here's yet more bizarre news from around the world... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- Lead Stories * According to a January report in the San Francisco Chronicle, the percentage of gay men who have risky sex without condoms ("barebackers") is growing, and a tiny minority of those men have taken their passion a step further: There are now gay "Russian roulette" parties publicized on the Internet (the latest scheduled for February in Houston) in which HIV-negative men ("bug chasers") invite HIV-positive men ("givers of the gift") for anonymous sex so that every act carries the possibility of death. A gay writer told the Chronicle that he has spoken to participants and is certain that the parties are not just another Internet hoax. * The Louisville Courier-Journal reported in February that the Louisville Free Public Library is tied up in probate with the family of the late Audrey Jean Knauer over a $290,000 bequest and that the outcome might depend on whether the actor Charles Bronson wants the money. Ms. Knauer died in 1997 and inexplicably willed her money to Bronson, whom she labeled a "talented character actor" but whom in all likelihood she had never met. Ms. Knauer's mother wants the money; the Library says it could buy 20,000 books; and Bronson has not yet responded. * Rev. Henry Lyons, head of the nation's largest organization of black Baptists, went to trial in St. Petersburg, Fla., in January, accused of defrauding two firms that thought they were purchasing an 8.5-million- member mailing list from Lyon's National Baptist Convention. Prosecutors insist the number was wildly inflated, and Lyons's former administrative assistant testified that after one such deal was made, Lyons instructed her to use a telephone-book software program to create a membership list by selecting names that sounded black. The assistant said she eliminated last names that began with "z" and also names that ended in "ski." Among the names that wound up on the list was an imperial wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. First Things First * In December, University of Nevada, Las Vegas, president Carol Harter moved the offices of most of the school's English composition teachers out of the campus's historic Houssels House and into a group of double- wide trailers in order to make room for a new Consciousness Studies Program, which investigates near-death experiences and other new-age topics. That program was recently created with a large donation from a prominent real estate developer. * In January, Fort Worth, Tex., murder defendant Robert William Greer Jr. agreed to plead guilty to a 1988 killing if the judge would keep him in the local jail for two more weeks before sending him to the penitentiary so that he could be assured of seeing the Super Bowl on TV. (Greer thought TV privileges in prison were less certain.) Greer said much of his enthusiasm for the game would be to see his favorite team, the Minnesota Vikings, win it all. Two days later, the Atlanta Falcons beat the Vikings to deny them a Super Bowl appearance, but Greer's guilty plea stands. News from the Animal Community * The New York Times reported in November on the recent but growing competitive sport of "musical canine freestyle" (dancing with dogs) in which costumed owners and their matching-collared pooches exhibit choreography to such tunes as "The Yellow Rose of Texas" and "Get Happy." (Holding dogs' paws, as in at-home dog-dancing, is forbidden.) The World Canine Freestyle Organization has a mailing list of 8,000 aficionados. * The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported in October that LuLu, a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig, saved the life of her owner, Jo Ann Altsman of Beaver Falls, Pa., by alerting a passing driver that Altsman was in trouble. Altsman was groaning with a heart attack and said later that LuLu first whimpered in sympathy, then squeezed through a very small doggy door, pushed open a gate that she had never opened before, walked to the road, and according to a witness, lay down in the middle only when a car approached. The driver stopped and then heard Altsman's cries. * In November, the Westchester County (N.Y.) Feline Club voted its Cat of the Year award, from among 300 entrants, to Ginny, a dog. Ginny was honored for befriending numerous stray cats, bringing them home, and sharing her food with them. * Recent Surgeries: A caesarian section delivery of six eggs by a turtle in Thunder Bay, Ontario (June), after veterinarians used a dentist's drill on her shell, later patching it with epoxy. And root canals performed on several Kodiak bears appearing in the movie "Grizzly Falls," shot in Toronto (November), after anesthesia delivered by a blow gun. The Litigious Society * In August, the family of the late Russell U. Shell filed a wrongful- death lawsuit against The Other Side nightclub in Fitchburg, Mass., charging that Mr. Shell choked to death on a miniature plastic penis that allegedly had been placed into his drink glass as a prank by an employee. (The club owner said Mr. Shell merely suffered a seizure and that the charm was found on the floor beside Mr. Shell's body.) * In January, Minnesota computer component manufacturer Innovex Inc. agreed to pay former executive Mary E. Curtin $750,000 to settle her sex discrimination lawsuit. During the time Curtin faced the alleged bias and sexist epithets, her husband Thomas W. Haley was Innovex's chairman and CEO and presumably had the power to put an end to the practices of which Curtin complained, but he did not. * The Chicago Sun-Times reported in November that local businessman David Israel, 51, filed a defamation lawsuit against his mother, Miriam, 77, who had allegedly told his brother and sister-in-law that David "is a thief and stole us blind." Said David, "It's not fun suing your mother." Least Competent Criminals * In January in Modesto, Calif., Bernardo Arroyo, 26, was convicted of distributing methamphetamine and faces a minimum 10 years in prison at his sentencing in April. Before the trial, Arroyo rejected a plea bargain that would have given him 2 years in prison because a psychic he consulted had assured him that he would be acquitted. (In fairness to the psychic, however, Arroyo had an opportunity to purchase an additional curse upon the prosecutor, for $8,000, but declined.) Update * Bennie Casson made news in 1997 when he filed a $100,000 lawsuit against PT's Show Club in Sauget, Ill., for its negligence in allowing stripper Susan Sykes (a.k.a. Busty Heart) to repeatedly "slam" her allegedly-88-inch bust into his neck and head during her performance, thus aggravating an old neck injury. In January 1999, a judge dismissed the lawsuit because Mr. Casson still couldn't find a lawyer to take the case, and a few days later, Mr. Casson died of a self-inflicted gunshot. Please include this information if you forward this joke: ********************************************************* This joke and others like it, can be found in: The Loony Bin http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ ********************************************************* ______________________________________________________________________ To unsubscribe, write to loonies-unsubscribe@listbot.com Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/