The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.com
)
Sun, 28 Mar 1999 21:01:33 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ Hiya Loonies... Let's catch up with what's being said about the Millennium Bug... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx *********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com********* *** *** *** Archive: http://loonies.net800.co.uk/ *** *** *** ************ANDROMEDA******Internet Goddess************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- These are genuine comments made about the Y2K problem... Serhiy Parashin, head of the Ukrainian Energy and Information research center: "We have to prepare for the worst in our nuclear energy sector, and this 'worst' might mean that all stations could stop simultaneously." That's the absolute worst, huh? Parashin, who is a former director of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant, also said in the same article that the consequences of the bug problem could be 'most unexpected,' but did not elaborate. Jim Wibor, technical advisor for Pacific Northwest National Laboratories - a contractor supporting the DOE on international nuclear safety - commenting on the 65 or so non-Y2k-compliant nuclear reactor facilities in Russia: "They are unlikely to be able to replace computers with Y2k problems, unless it's really an urgent need." Define "urgent." Apparently microwave ovens and VCR's are "urgent," but nuclear reactors are not. Alexander Krupnov, chairman of Russia's Central Telecommunications Commission, which is coordinating the country's work on the millennium bug: "These agencies have already done half their jobs; they've counted out how much money they'll need", he told a news conference. "Now they're seeking their own sources of financing." And you all thought testing was half of remediation. Actually, it's a pretty simple methodology when you think about it: figure out how much money you need, test, then declare you are compliant. Then hide January 1, 2000. Zimbabwe's Minister of Information Chen Chimutengwende, whose responsibilities include information technology: "What is this Year 2000 problem?" "...Local bankers who have worked on the problem extensively are rendered nearly speechless when asked what they would do if their ATM systems went down for an entire week. Their systems have been tested so thoroughly that they can't imagine it happening, they say. "That would mean something very critical has gone wrong," said a spokesman for LaSalle National Bank in Chicago." Sometimes the only appropriate response to a statement is: "duh!" Portland City Commissioner Charlie Hales: "We should ask ourselves why the city of Portland is doing this [spending up to $150,000 on Y2k preparation] while 200 other cities in this state aren't ... There's going to be a serious food shortage of potato chips and champagne." I have to make this anonymous because these quotes come from our client's legal eagles, and you can't offend a client. I've run into this legal language several times, and I find it hilarious. It comes in contract addendums and warranty requests from our clients, and it usually goes something like this... "In order for the software to be Year 2000 Compliant it must (i) accurately process date/time data (including, but not limited to, calculating, comparing, sorting, sequencing and calendar generation), including single century formulas and multi-centuryformulas, from, into within and between the twentieth and twenty-first centuries..." etc. I wondered how something could go on "between" centuries, so I asked the client's lawyer. I actually had a lawyer try to convince me there was a little tiny chunk of time that sits in between one year and the next. She couldn't tell me exactly how long that time was, but she was sure it was there. The other thing I find amusing is the reference to everything running properly, "...between the twentieth and twenty-first centuries..." Since the calendar actually started with year 1 and not year 0, the transition from the 20th to the 21st century will occur with the transition from December 31st, 2000 to January 1st, 2001. So the way the contract is worded, they don't have any assurances that things will work from 1999 to 2000. Duh. I have an uncle who is an ex-military type from India and now lives in the US. He suggested to his Nephew (from the other side of the family) back in India who just finished high school this year (1999) that he should go to college and then come to the USA to work on the Y2K problem! Must be one smart kid if he can finish college in less than 9 months!!! She works for a facilities maintenance mail-order supply house, and talked with the supply manager of a major hotel chain who wanted to know if the faucets he was ordering were Y2K compliant! Recently overheard: "Y2K? It could be worse: we could be trying to fix it without computers." 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