Y2K...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Sun, 28 Mar 1999 21:01:33 +0100


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya Loonies...

Let's catch up with what's being said about the Millennium Bug...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*********THE LOONY BIN****loonies@bloodaxe.com*********
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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


These are genuine comments made about the Y2K problem...


Serhiy Parashin, head of the Ukrainian Energy and Information research
center: "We have to prepare for the worst in our nuclear energy sector,
and this 'worst' might mean that all stations could stop
simultaneously."
That's the absolute worst, huh? Parashin, who is a former director of
the Chernobyl nuclear power plant, also said in the same article that
the consequences of the bug problem could be 'most unexpected,' but did
not elaborate.

Jim Wibor, technical advisor for Pacific Northwest National Laboratories
- a contractor supporting the DOE on international nuclear safety -
commenting on the 65 or so non-Y2k-compliant nuclear reactor facilities
in Russia: "They are unlikely to be able to replace computers with Y2k
problems, unless it's really an urgent need."
Define "urgent." Apparently microwave ovens and VCR's are "urgent," but
nuclear reactors are not.

Alexander Krupnov, chairman of Russia's Central Telecommunications
Commission, which is coordinating the country's work on the millennium
bug: "These agencies have already done half their jobs; they've counted
out how much money they'll need", he told a news conference. "Now
they're seeking their own sources of financing."
And you all thought testing was half of remediation. Actually, it's a
pretty simple methodology when you think about it: figure out how much
money you need, test, then declare you are compliant. Then hide January
1, 2000.

Zimbabwe's Minister of Information Chen Chimutengwende, whose
responsibilities include information technology: "What is this Year 2000
problem?"

"...Local bankers who have worked on the problem extensively are
rendered nearly speechless when asked what they would do if their ATM
systems went down for an entire week. Their systems have been tested so
thoroughly that they can't imagine it happening, they say. "That would
mean something very critical has gone wrong," said a spokesman for
LaSalle National Bank in Chicago."
Sometimes the only appropriate response to a statement is: "duh!"

Portland City Commissioner Charlie Hales: "We should ask ourselves why
the city of Portland is doing this [spending up to $150,000 on Y2k
preparation] while 200 other cities in this state aren't ... There's
going to be a serious food shortage of potato chips and champagne."

I have to make this anonymous because these quotes come from our
client's legal eagles, and you can't offend a client. I've run into this
legal language several times, and I find it hilarious. It comes in
contract addendums and warranty requests from our clients, and it
usually goes something like this... "In order for the software to be
Year 2000 Compliant it must (i) accurately process date/time data
(including, but not limited to, calculating, comparing, sorting,
sequencing and calendar generation), including single century formulas
and multi-centuryformulas, from, into within and between the twentieth
and twenty-first centuries..." etc.  
I wondered how something could go on "between" centuries, so I asked the
client's lawyer. I actually had a lawyer try to convince me there was a
little tiny chunk of time that sits in between one year and the next.
She couldn't tell me exactly how long that time was, but she was sure it
was there. The other thing I find amusing is the reference to everything
running properly, "...between the twentieth and twenty-first
centuries..." Since the calendar actually started with year 1 and not
year 0, the transition from the 20th to the 21st century will occur with
the transition from December 31st, 2000 to January 1st, 2001. So the way
the contract is worded, they don't have any assurances that things will
work from 1999 to 2000. Duh.

I have an uncle who is an ex-military type from India and now lives in
the US. He suggested to his Nephew (from the other side of the family)
back in India who just finished high school this year (1999) that he
should go to college and then come to the USA to work on the Y2K
problem! Must be one smart kid if he can finish college in less than 9
months!!!

She works for a facilities maintenance mail-order supply house, and
talked with the supply manager of a major hotel chain who wanted to know
if the faucets he was ordering were Y2K compliant!

Recently overheard: "Y2K? It could be worse: we could be trying to fix
it without computers."


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