Actual Business Signs...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.com )
Wed, 23 Sep 1998 18:14:20 +0100


The Loony Bin - http://loonies.net800.co.uk/

Hiya All...

There's nothing as funny as real life...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

Actual Business Signs
=====================
On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a
leak."

In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you
are on fire and take appropriate action."

On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."

On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian
except the dog."

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're
looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."

On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."

On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."

At a Used Car Lot: "Second-hand cars in first crash condition."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -
miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear
you coming."

Outside a Hotel: "Help!  We need inn-experienced people."

In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."

On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and
the 2nd one just left."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Back in 5 minutes. Sit!
Stay!"

On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."

At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in
your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"

On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."

In a Restaurant window:  "Don't stand there and be hungry, come
in and get fed up."

Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin
drop."

On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll
wait."

In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise
is optional."


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