The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 17 Jun 1998 22:18:15 +0100
The Loony Bin - http://alethea.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/
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Hiya All...
The target for today is accountants...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
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*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
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*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way
you don't understand.
What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.
When does a person decide to become an accountant?
When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an
undertaker.
What does an accountant use for birth control?
His personality.
What's an extroverted accountant?
One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of
his own.
What's an auditor?
Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the
wounded.
Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last
year.
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can
count and those who can't.
How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map
the wrong way.
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and
the value of nothing.
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his
doctor.
"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three
hours trying to find it."
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