The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
9 May 1998 22:35:51 -0000
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Hiya Folks...
Like myself, some of you may be starting to plan for your
vacation time...here are a few travel tales to speed you on your
way...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
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*******************************************************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
*** ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
TRAVEL ANYONE? Not Bright Customers...of travel agents!
The following are actual stories told by travel agents (and you
wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the
world on geography)...
I had someone who wanted to stay at the Bob Newhart Inn in
Connecticut. When I explained that the inn was fictional, the
customer became very irate and insisted "I know it is real, I
see people check in every week!"
Also, I really did have someone ask for an aisle seat so that
their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make
you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly
explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."
Her response....'click'.
A secretary called in looking for hotel in Los Angeles. She gave
me various names off a list, none of which I could find. I
finally had her fax me the list. To my surprise, it was a list
of hotels in New Orleans, Louisiana.
She thought the LA stood for Los Angeles, and that New Orleans
was a suburb of L.A. Worst of all, when I called her back, she
was not even embarrassed.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked
what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was
expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is
a very thin state."
I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see
England from Canada?"
I said, "No."
He said "...but they look so close on the map."
Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.
When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay-
over in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the
gates to save time."
A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible
that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago
at 8:33am.
I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois,
but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally
I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
who?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put
a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there
any connection?"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I 'looked into
it' (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained that the
city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just
putting a destination tag on her luggage.
I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know
which plane to get on?"
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was
told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have
numbers on them."
A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of
those computer planes."
I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane.
She said, "Yeah, whatever."
A businessman called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion
about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to
have one of those."
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China 4 times
and every time they have accepted my American Express."
A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago
to Hippopotamus, New York."
The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent asked, "Are you sure that's the name of the
town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer.
After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry,
ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and
can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere."
The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where
it is. Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"
And the best of them all ...............
A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After
going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to
fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
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