The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
29 Apr 1998 21:32:41 -0000
This Message Is Sponsored By: ListBot Get a free mailing list for your web site! http://www.listbot.com/ Hiya All... Here are some things to think about when you're bored... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ******************************************************* ******************************************************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ *** *** *** *******************Internet Goddess******************** **********************ANDROMEDA************************ ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- More points to ponder..... - What is the speed of dark? - When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? - Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's? - If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras? - How come you never hear about gruntled employees? - What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? - After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? - If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? - What's another word for synonym? - If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? - When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs? - Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? - Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? - Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor and planes don't have a row 13, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11? - How can there be self-help groups? - Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? - Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? - If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? - Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? - Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo? - Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays? - Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? - Where are Preparations A through G? - Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs? - If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like? - When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away? - When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? - What happened to the first 6 "Ups"? - If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? - Why does your nose run, and your feet smell? - If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? - Hermits have no peer pressure. - Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... - There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.. - How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there? - What a nice night for an evening. - When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "The middle of August? Cool!" - Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID? - I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious. - I live on a one-way dead-end street. - It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. - I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time." - If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? - Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? - Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics? - Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? - Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out. - I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, "No thanks-I'm not going that far." - I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives next door complained. - Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills? - When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute. ----------------------------------------------------------------- This message was sent via ListBot. To remove yourself from this list, please visit http://www.listbot.com/remove.html -----------------------------------------------------------------