The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Mon, 17 Mar 1997 22:48:29 +0000
Hiya Loonies...
I can hardly send out a batch of messages without our customary comment
on Microsoft...this one comes from Alan...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
***<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***
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*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** Archive: http://eleceng.ukc.ac.uk/~pjw/loonies/ ***
*** ***
*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
If restaurants functioned like Microsoft:
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I'll be your Support Waiter. What
seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it
with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind
of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration
problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with
the fly in my soup?
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed
the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running
late now.
[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[Waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
----------
The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $ 5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $ 2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . $10.00
------
$17.49 <-- Cheapest MS product yet!