Development...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Wed, 4 Dec 1996 15:05:52 +0000


Hiya Folks...

Here's something on program development...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

*************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>*************
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*******************Internet Goddess********************
**********************ANDROMEDA************************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic.  That program
shink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and
12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an
elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet.

Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside
details of the program development cycle.

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing
department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.

4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and
discovers 15 new bugs.

5. See 3.

6. See 4.

7. See 5.

8. See 6.

9. See 7.

10. See 8.

11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product
announcement based on overoptimistic programming schedule, the product
is released.

12. Users find 137 new bugs.

13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to
be found.

14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs,
but introduce 456 new ones.

15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard
from Fiji.  Entire testing department quits.

16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits
from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.

17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors.  He hires programmer to
redo program from scratch.

18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free. ----