The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Sat, 31 Aug 1996 20:51:22 +0100
Hiya Loonies...
Here's a mixed assortment for you...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
*****<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>***<bloodaxe@geocities.com>*****
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*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
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******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
An Assortment Of Jokes:
What do you call a dwarf psychic who's escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
Did you know that in 1947 the first all-white Dalmatian was spotted?
What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hareline.
A grasshopper hops into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
"You have a drink named Stan?"
A cheeseburger walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here"
Woodworking Jokes . . .
My grandfather the Real Carpenter boasted at his retirement party that
he had had the same hammer for fifty years, and that he had only changed
the handle eleven times, and the head four times.
When I used to work in the lumberyard, whenever people would complain
about the lumber prices, we'd say, "Well, what do you think, this stuff
grows on trees?"
Keith and Jay were building a house, nailing siding on the east side.
Jay looked over and noticed that Keith was throwing away approximately
half the nails that he picked up.
"Why are you throwing those nails away?" asked Jay.
"Because they're pointing the wrong direction," replied Keith.
"Well, save them and we'll use them on the other side!" exclaimed Jay.
I was talking to a friend and told him my grandpa had a wooden leg.
He said, "so what, my grandma had a cedar chest."
Jane And Michael meet on the street.
Jane says: I met a man with a wooden leg named Smith
Michael says: What was the name of his other leg?