The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Fri, 26 Jul 1996 04:50:12 +0100
Hiya Loonies... More pessimism for you... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ ******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ******************Internet Goddess******************* *********************ANDROMEDA*********************** ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- A pessimist is an optimist with experience. Man who looks for a pink slip before the money in his pay envelope. Pessimism wouldn't work *any*way. A pessimist is someone who feels bad when he feels good, for fear he'll feel even worse when he feels better. A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. Don Marquis The man who is a pessimist before fourty-eight knows too much; the man=20 who is an optimist after fourty-eight knows too little. Mark Twain Pessimism, when you get used to it, is just as agreeable as optimism. Arnold Bennett There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist. Mark Twain A pessimist is a man who thinks all woman are bad. An optimist is one=20 who hopes they are. Chauncey Depew A pessimist is just an optimist who has received his degree from the=20 school of hard knocks. An optimist invented the jet; a pessimist, the ejection seat. An optimist laughs to forget; a pessimist can't remember the last time=20 he laughed. The pessimist calls the police to report a disturbance of the peace when opportunity knocks. Blessed are the pessimists for they have already invested in a tape=20 backup. The pessimist is just a verbose realist. No sense being a pessimist. That value system probably wouldn't work=20 anyway. Pessimists make poor bankers. They don't expect their money back. Corollary: Look for a pessimist from whom to borrow. The pessimist is rarely disappointed. How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb? ---None, it's just a waste of time since the new one probably won't work either. ---None, why bother, the new one will eventually burn out as well. ---None, the burned out one is probably stuck and can=B4t be removed. A typical pessimist joke: How does one make God laugh? Tell him your plans for the future. Pessimism is the one ism which kills the soul. John Buchan (1875-1940) ........ A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. G. B. Shaw (1856-1950) ........ Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. Oscar Wilde (1856-1900)