Trouble With Baked Beans...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Fri, 12 Jul 1996 12:56:05 +0100


Hiya People...

Here's a bit of a baked bean story...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
***                                               ***
***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
***          loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk         ***
***                                               ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

 _________________________________________________________________
   
                         BAKED BEANS
 _________________________________________________________________


Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for
baked beans.  He loved then. but he always had a very embarrassing and
somewhat lively reaction to them. 

Then, one day, he met a girl and fell in love with her.  When it was
apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she is a sweet
and gentle girl and will never go for this kind of carrying on.  So, he
made the supreme sacrifice and gave up the beans.  The were married
thereafter.  

Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work and
since they lived in the country, he called her and told her that he
would be late getting home because he had to walk.  

On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the odour of freshly baked
beans was overwhelming.  Since he still had several miles to walk, he
figured that he would work off any effects before reaching home, so he
stopped at the cafe.  Before leaving, he had eaten three large orders of
baked beans.  All the way home, he put-putted and after arriving, felt
reasonably sure that he had putted his last.  

His wife seemed somewhat agitated and excited to see him and exclaimed:
Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight.  She
then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table.
He seated himself and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the
telephone rang.  She made him vow that he would not touch the blindfold
until she returned.  Then she went to answer the phone.  

Seizing the opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go.
It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg.  He took the napkin
from his lap and vigorously fanned the air around him. 

Things had just about returned to normal, when he felt the urge come on
again, so he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This
was a true prize winner.  

While keeping his ear on the phone, he went on like this for 10 minutes,
until he knew the phone farewell indicated the end of his freedom.  He
placed the napkin in his lap and folded his hands on top of it and
smiling contently to himself was the perfect picture on innocence.  

When his wife returned she asked if he had peeked and he said no.  At
that point, she removed the blindfold and revealed his surprise.

Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a birthday party for
him.