The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Fri, 5 Jul 1996 06:57:42 +0100
Hiya People...
Here's a rejection letter from Playgirl magazine to a hopeful
centrefold...
Wishes & Dreams...
- ANDREA
xx
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
*** ***
*** THE LOONY BIN ***
*** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk ***
*** ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************
------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------
Playgirl Rejection Notice
PLAYGIRL INC.
NEW ENGLAND BRANCH
PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND 02902
DEAR __________
We wish to thank you for your letter and Polaroid photo which we
recently received. We regret, however, that we will not be able to use
your photo as our "Playgirl's Man of the Month".
When rated by our AAW (Avaricious American Women) on a scale of 1-
10 your body was rated a minus 2 (-2). The panel is comprised of
widowed females ranging in ages from 50-75 years old who have been
deprived of sexual activity for a minimum of five years.
To confirm your below average rating, we submitted your photograph
to a second panel, the HUHA (Horny Undersexed Housewives of America),
whose age range from 25-35. However, we could not get them to contain
their laughter long enough to rate you.
Please be assured, that should the tastes of American women
deteriorate so drastically that a body such as yours would be in demand,
you will be notified. Meanwhile, please do not call us, we will call
you.
Sincerely,
PLAYGIRL INC.
P.S. It pains us to inform you that, had your photo been used, the
staple holding our centerfold together would have completely obstructed
what you refer to as your "item of interest".