All About FAXing...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Sun, 23 Jun 1996 10:44:54 +0100


Hiya Loonies...

More on safe FAX...some you've seen before and some you haven't...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
***                                               ***
***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
***          loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk         ***
***                                               ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------


                    A S K   M R.  F A X

MY PARENTS SAY THEY NEVER HAD FAX WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG AND WERE ONLY
ALLOWED TO WRITE MEMOS TO EACH OTHER UNTIL THEY WERE 21.
HOW OLD DO YOU THINK SOMEONE SHOULD BE BEFORE THEY CAN FAX?

FAXing can be performed at any age, once you learn the correct
procedures; what to insert, where, etc.

HOW WELL SHOULD ONE KNOW THE PERSON TO INSURE HAVING SAFE FAX?

It generally helps to know the person you are FAXing, especially if you
want meaningful FAX, but married men, who hardly ever FAX their wives
will spend much of their working lives FAXing complete strangers.

SHOULD A COVER ALWAYS BE USED FOR FAXING?

Unless you are really sure of the one you are FAXing, a cover should be
used to insure safe FAX.

I FAX NUMEROUS TIMES EACH DAY.  IS THIS NORMAL?
(My friends say I FAX too much.)

Yes, it is normal, but be careful to allow enough time for other
activities such as eating or sleeping.  And about your friends; they're
probably just jealous.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I INCORRECTLY DO THE PROCEDURE AND I FAX PREMATURELY?

Don't panic.  Many people prematurely FAX when they haven't FAXed in a
LONG time.  Just start over, most people won't mind if you try, try
again.

IF I FAX SOMETHING TO MYSELF WILL I GO BLIND?

Certainly not; as far as we can see.

I HAVE A PERSONAL AND A BUSINESS FAX.  CAN TRANSMISSIONS BECOME MIXED-
UP?

Being bi-FAXual can be confusing, but as long as you use a cover with
each one, you won't transmit anything you're not supposed to.

THERE IS A PLACE ON OUR STREET WHERE YOU CAN GO TO PAY TO FAX.
IS THIS LEGAL?

Yes, many people have no other outlet for their FAXing drives  and must
pay a "professional" when their needs to FAX becomes too great.
Definately use a cover to insure safe FAX.

IS IT ETHICAL TO FAX YOUR CO-WORKERS?

Yes.  FAXing is OK between consenting adults, but be certain that you
are not engaging in FAXual harassment or else you may lose your job, or
worse, end up in jail.

SHOULD I FAX MY BOSS?

Yes, if it will help your job advancement.

WHAT IF MY FAX STARTS TO MAKE SQUEAKING SOUNDS, OR GETS JAMMED INSIDE?

Add lubrication immediately!

HOW DO I KNOW IF A FAX IS COMING?

If you don't know, you should not be getting FAXed!

IS IT ALRIGHT TO FAX IN BED?

You may FAX anywhere your equipment will reach.

WHAT IF I'M INTERRUPTED IN THE MIDDLE OF FAXING?

Once started, some devices don't care if you stick around. They will
finish without you.

SOMETIMES MY FINGER GETS SORE WHEN I FAX A LOT. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

If you have an older, manual unit, there are devices you can purchase to
automate the process.  If your equipment is newer, consult the manual.

IF SOMEONE SAYS, "FAX THIS!"  WHAT SHOULD I DO?

If they're from New York, ignore them, otherwise they probably want to
be FAXed.

ONE OF MY FRIENDS FAXED ME.  HE TOLD ALL OF HIS FRIENDS I WAS AN EASY
FAX. NOW THEY ALL WANT TO FAX ME.  WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Tell them your equipment was damaged and you can't FAX any more.

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF INDISCRIMINATE FAXING?

If you practice safe FAX, the phone bills should be the only adverse
result.

WHAT IF MY FAX DOESN'T FIT?

Trim a little off the edges, while it may be painful, it usually insures
a proper fit.

IF I FAX TOO LONG, WHAT COULD HAPPEN?

Equipment failure.

SOMEONE TOLD ME TO GET FAXED.  WHAT DID HE MEAN?

You probably misunderstood his statement.

MY BROTHER FAXED ME ONE NIGHT.  SHOULD I FEEL GUILTY?

It is no longer taboo for family members to FAX each other, in fact, it
is now quite common.