The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Tue, 11 Jun 1996 08:17:14 +0100
Hiya People... A tale full of puns for you... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ ******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ******************Internet Goddess******************* *********************ANDROMEDA*********************** ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- It was your BASIC day in the land of pixel. From my graphics window I could see a low-resolution cursor high in the wrap-around sky. But my workspace stack had overflowed and there were no buffers available. You know the subroutine. Besides, my motherboard had deleted this PC-junior and wanted to boot me out. I needed to ESCape from my dataBase. So I packed some line feed, an Apple, and a switchbox of serial ports and my mouse and I took my *car*tridge -- my only modem of transportation -- for a disk drive around the data block. We were up to 1900 baud when I had to swerve to avoid hitting a bus. I lost CONTROL and crashed. We RAMed into a type mismatch. I PEEKed and POKED under the interface, but my search engine had a fatal system error. I had backspaced over all memory of what had happened earlier that data. There was no RETURN and no way to save the game. That's when I saw the foot printouts that I TRACEd to the highest resolution shape table I had set my I/O's on. She was a hand-held laptop model, softwearing a polka dot-matrix spreadsheet that displayed her scanlines. And I didn't need 3D glasses to get a load of her floppy disks. "I'll byte," I thought. "I'd love to run her program." So I picked her some daisy wheels and entered, "I'm chip. What's your filename?" "They call me MS DOS." was her output. "I'm user-friendly, and my address space is in the directory." Well, we accessed each other's files. She was showing me her periferals when she told me she belonged to a user group. "Hey, Amiga," I said." "Stand by. I don't want any computer virus. It could be terminal." So I exited that playfield, because she was an 8-bit floozy with artificial intelligence. Not my ... uhm, type. So once again I was left to stand alone. A lost file in a re-dimensioned array. If your program is full of bugs, if you have too many ifs without thens, store this data: Just press RESET.