The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Fri, 31 May 1996 12:59:20 +0100
Hiya folks... More stuff for you... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ ******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ******************Internet Goddess******************* *********************ANDROMEDA*********************** ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- The Differences in the Religions: TAOISM: Shit Happens CONFUCIANISM: Confuscious says,"Shit Happens" BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening? HINDUISM: This shit happened before BONZAI BOZOISM: Make shit happen.. OH SHIT!! ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else. CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserve it. JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to us? ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit. AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit? SHINTOISM: Everything except Japan is Shit. EXISTENTIAL: I shit, therefore I sit. MINIMALIST: Shit VEGETARIAN: Don't eat that shit! DEJA VU: I've been through this shit before. LAO-TZU: It is utterly pointless to try to explain shit. GERTRUDE STEIN: A shit is a shit is a shit. BUSH: A thousand points of shit. SOVIET UNION: That shit just didn't work. CASTRO: We have to make this shit work somehow. EASTERN ORTHODOX: Rome doesn't know shit. SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST: Shit happens everyday but Saturday. UNITARIAN: Shit is all basically the same. HOLISTIC: There's more shit here than I figured on. JEHOVAH'S WITNESS: Want to buy a subscription to our Shit? CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST: If Shit happens, don't worry. It will go away on its own. JAINISM: When Shit happens don't step in it. CALVINISM: If you're not saved, tough Shit. BORN AGAIN: Shit happens but I am saved. SCIENTOLOGY: This Shit is expensive. NEW AGE: Crystal power counteracts Shit. JESUITISM: If Shit happens and no one hears it, did it really make a sound? HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens, Rama, Rama. SATANISM: Shit rules! STOICISM: So Shit happens, Big deal. I can take it. HEDONISM: When Shit happens, enjoy it! RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this Shit. CLINTONISM: Just don't inhale that Shit. NATIVE AMERICAN CHURCH: We want our Shit back! RLDS: Brigham is full of Shit. MORMONISM: It's evil to say "Shit." DEMOCRATISM: How can we send a man to the moon and still have all this shit? REPUBLICANISM: There's nothing like a good shit. Flush the toilet. FEMINISM: Put the seat back down, you Shit. SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves. FUNDAMENTALISM: Born-again shit. EVANGELISM: Shit happens. (Pass it on.) EPISCOPALIAN: Fecal matter occurs. JIM JONESISM: If shit happens, drink Kool-Aid.