What The Professor Really Means...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Fri, 24 May 1996 10:51:48 +0100


Hiya Folks...

Here's a guide to deciphering what the professor really means...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx

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  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

                     What The Professor Really Means

                         By J. Timothy Petersik
                 from the Chronicle of Higher Education


You'll be using one of the leading        I used it as a grad student.
textbooks in the field.

If you follow these few simple rules,     If you don't need any sleep, 
you'll do fine in the course.             you'll do fine in the course.

The gist of what the author is saying     I don't understand the details
is what's most important.                 either.

Various authorities agree that...         My hunch is that...

The answer to your question is beyond     I don't know.
the scope of this class.

You'll have to see me during my office    I don't know.
hours for a thorough answer to your
question.

In answer to your question, you must      I really don't know.
recognize that there are several 
disparate points of view.

Today we ar e going to discuss a most     Today we are going to discuss 
important topic.                          my dissertation.

Unfortunately, we haven't the time to     I disagree with what roughly 
consider all of the people who made       half of the people in this
contributions to this field.              field have said.

We can continue this discussion outside   1.  I'm tired of this - let's
of class                                   quit.
                                          2.  You're winning the 
                                           argument - let's quit.

Today we'll let a member of the class     I stayed out to late last
lead the discussion. It will be a         night and didn't have time to
good educational experience.              prepare a lecture.


Any questions?                            I'm ready to let you go.

The implications of this study are        I don't know what it means 
clear                                     either, but there'll be a 
                                          question about it on the test.

The test will be 50-questions            The test will be 60-questions
multiple choice                          guess, plus three short-answer
                                         questions (1000 words or more) 
                                         and noone will score above 55%.

The test scores were generally good.     Some of you managed a C+.

The test scores were a little below      Where was the party last night?
my expectations.

Some of you could have done better.      Everyone flunked.

Before we begin the lecture for          Has anyone opened the book yet?
today, are there any questions about
previous material?

According to my sources...               According to the guy who taught 
                                         this class last year...

It's been very rewarding to teach        I hope they find someone else
this class.                              to teach it next year.