The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Thu, 23 May 1996 07:27:53 +0100
Hiya Loonies... Some light bulb humour from Shelley... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA xx ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ ******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ******************Internet Goddess******************* *********************ANDROMEDA*********************** ------- Forwarded foolishness follows ------- Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 472 One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwiitchHandle... etc. Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? A: We have formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what exactly we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder. Q: How many MIS guys does it take to change a light bulb? A: MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has assigned your request Service Number 39712. Please use this number for any future reference to this light bulb issue. As soon as a technician becomes available, you will be contacted. Q: How many WordPerfect support technicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Ok. Now, exactly how dark is it? Ok, there could be four or five things wrong... have you tried the light switch? Q: How many MicroSoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three Two holding the ladder and one to screw the light bulb into a faucet/tap. Q: How many MicroSoft Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb? A: Eight One to change the bulb, and seven to make sure Microsoft gets $2.00 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world. Q: How many software testers does it take to change a light bulb? A: We just noticed the room was dark; we don't actually fix the problems. Q: How many software developers does it take to change a light bulb? A: The light bulb works fine on the system in my office.... Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: You are still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send a light bulb change message. Q: How long does it take a DEC repairman (link large VAX or SUN system) to change a light bulb? A: Depends on how many burned out bulbs he brought with him. Q: How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb? A: One But they'll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy for them as it would have been for a Macintosh user. Q: How many Apple Newtons does it take to change a light bulb? A: Foux! There to eat lemons, axe gravy soup. Q: How many Microsoft Engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard. And one final multiple choice. Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None - it's a hardware problem. B: 100 - one to hold the buld and 99 to debug the house. C: None so far, but they'll get to it REAL SOON NOW.