Facts about women...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Mon, 13 May 1996 12:06:07 +0100

Hiya Loonies...

More differences revealed...

Wishes & Dreams...

***                                               ***
***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
***          loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk         ***
***                                               ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

Women especially love a bargain.  The question of "need" is irrelevant,
so don't bother pointing it out.  Anything on sale is fair game.

Women never have anything to wear.  Don't question the racks of clothes
in the closet; you "just don't understand".

Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort
to trap you into feeling guilty. 

Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's
why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

Women hate bugs.  Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when
there's a spider or a wasp involved.

Women always go to public restrooms in groups.  It gives them a chance
to gossip.

Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what they're
doing. It might be the lottery calling.

Women never understand why men love toys.  Men understand that they
wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.

Women think all beer is the same.

Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in
the shower.

After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain

Women don't understand the appeal of sports.  Men seek entertainment
that allows them to escape reality.  Women seek entertainment that
reminds them of how horrible things *could* be.  

If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes
and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip
she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like
wearing each day.

Women do *not* know anything about cars. "Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?"

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

"Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than
it does in man-language.

a) All women are overweight by definition, don't argue with them about 
b) All women are overweight by definition, don't agree with them about 

If it is not Valentines day, and you see a man in a flower shop, you can
probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"

Women never check to see if the lid is up.  They seem to prefer taking
flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they
"left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it

Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting.  This will get men