Computer Things...

The Loony Bin ( loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk )
Sat, 11 May 1996 13:34:00 +0100


Hiya people...

Some more straightforward(ish) computer stuff...

Wishes & Dreams...

- ANDREA
        xx
-- 
************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************
******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>*******************
***                                               ***
***                THE LOONY BIN                  ***
***          loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk         ***
***                                               ***
******************Internet Goddess*******************
*********************ANDROMEDA***********************

  ------- Forwarded foolishness follows -------

Cannot find REALITY.SYS.  Universe halted.

Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.

My software never has bugs; it just develops random features.

C:\DOS   C:\DOS\RUN   RUN\DOS\RUN

The definition of an Upgrade:  Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!

Windows:  Just another pane in the glass.

Who's General Failure and why is he reading my disk?

Shell to DOS . . . Come in DOS, do you copy?  Shell to DOS .

All computers wait at the same speed.

DEFINITION:  Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.

Press <CTRL><ALT><DEL> to continue . . .

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue . . .

ACSII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

Error:  Keyboard not attached.  Press F1 to continue.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

Hit any user to continue.

Backup not found:   (A)bort  (R)etry  (T)hrowup

Backup not found:   (A)bort  (R)etry  (P)anic

                    (A)bort  (R)etry  (T)ake down the entire network?

                    (A)bort  (R)etry  (G)et a beer?

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be
the process of putting them in.

Programmers don't die; they just GOSUB without RETURN.

Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with
inanimate objects.

Real programmers don't document.  If it was hard to write, it should be
hard to understand.

Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?