The Loony Bin
(
loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk
)
Wed, 3 Apr 1996 22:00:47 +0100
Hiya people... The following is a little tale forwarded by our newest Loony...thanks Kent... Wishes & Dreams... - ANDREA -- ************<andrea@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk>************ ******************<ajc6@ukc.ac.uk>******************* *** *** *** THE LOONY BIN *** *** loonies@bloodaxe.demon.co.uk *** *** *** ***************************************************** **********************ANDROMEDA********************** ------- Forwarded message follows ------- >> >A man had been lost and wandering in the Chinese wilderness for 3 >> >months. All he had to eat was what he could forage and was forced to >> >sleep wherever he could find meager shelter. >> > >> >One day he came upon an old farm house. In answer to his knock, an >> >old Chinese gentleman asked "WHAT DO YOU WANT". "I have been lost in >> >the wilderness for 3 months and have not had a decent meal or nights >> >sleep in just as long". "May I stay the night?" >> > >> >The old man agreed under the condition that there be no messing with >> >his granddaughter. "I will cause you no trouble", the man said. >> >"That's very good" said the old man. "Because if I catch you with my >> >granddaughter, you will suffer the three most severe Chinese >> >tortures". >> > >> >The granddaughter attended the evening meal and the man was awestruck >> >by her beauty. Since he had been alone for so long and she had not >> >been with a man in her life, they could hardly keep their eyes off of >> >each other during the meal. >> > >> >Later that night the man crept into her room and they had a terrific >> >time together. They were careful to be quiet lest they awaken the >> >grandfather. Afterwards, the man returned to his room (on the third >> >floor), and thought: "That marvelous experience was worth enduring a >> >thousand tortures". He then fell promptly asleep and had the best >> >sleep in three months. >> > >> >Upon awakening, he felt an incredible weight on his chest. He then >> >realized that there was a 100 pound rock on his chest. On the rock >> >was a sign that read: "1st Chinese Torture - 100 Pound Rock On >> >Chest". >> > >> >This is some lame torture thought the man as he carried it over to >> >the window and threw it out. Then he noticed another sign on the >> >bottom of the rock "2nd Chinese torture - Right Testicle Tied To >> >Rock". Knowing that it was too late to catch the rock, the man >> >hurled himself out of the window after it. Passing through the >> >window the man saw a third sign on the window ledge. "3rd Chinese >> >torture - Left Testicle Tied To Bedpost".